Don’t Date Geek Girls?

In Women in Geek by Supreme Overlord Kaitie0 Comments

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Zyunka Mukhina

Photo: Zyunka Mukhina https://zyunkamukhina.deviantart.com/art/Geek-girl-350147938

So, somewhere during a late night of arbitrary internet searching I found an article entitled “Don’t Date Geek Girls” by someone calling himself Dr. NerdLove (not a real Doctor) and let me tell you what, I was 130% ready to be pissed off and offended. Naturally. Because how many times have we heard that geeky women are somehow simultaneously unattractive, unapproachable, and high maintenance emotionally OR slutty and totally faking our interest in games, science, or tech just to get a man. In general we are either fetishized or made to look undesirable. So I thought, okay… here we go again. I could have closed the tab and walked away right then, but I’m a masochist and also wondered why someone called “NerdLove” was anti-geek-girl. Further inspection was required.

Now, this article does seem to be geared towards men. Specifically men, not even women who are lesbian/bi/etc. This is aimed at that stereotypical antisocial geek male complete with pocket protectors. It does advise them not to date geek women not because we are somehow less, but because they are. Because they fetishize us and basically lower us to this position that is somehow part bro, part sex doll/ porn star, and part housewife while they sit on their butts and put no real work into the relationship. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to argue with that. I’ve been there. Chances are a lot of you reading this know *that* guy.

I agreed with SO much of this article, but I still really had a hard time deciding if it was a truly feminist approach. I still haven’t decided. Go read it and let me know in the comments how you felt. Was it feminist? Was it a little too derogatory towards the men and did that drown out the real message? Was the whole thing drivel? You tell me.

I will leave you with this cliche message from me to you: do with it what you will. You are not a sex doll or an unattainable ideal. I don’t care if you dress like a librarian or the PornHub equivalent. You can make dinner for your partner every night and have sex as much as you want. You can be asexual and your idea of cooking can be re-heating take out. It doesn’t matter. All walks of life are valid and beautiful, so do you and do it well.

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